For This Country I Sit

Crowds slowly file in
            one...by...one
looking for their seats

I sit in my seat 
       and watch all the wondrous diversity

People of all colors 
shapes
backgrounds
faiths coming together for some fun

Thousands come 
the noise of all their voices
          hums throughout the air

Then the national music begins to play
          people stand in mindless obedience
                     an army of voices sing void of any emotion
                             no apparent connection to the treasured lyrics of the anthem

I sit quietly in my seat, as I've done....
                 for years. 

No one once objected
      became offended
      asked why
       or paid any attention
They were too busy doing as they were told

Then an athlete
        chooses to do the same as I
                his reasons his own
        and the nation cries out:
               HOW HORRIBLE!
                    HOW DISRESPECTFUL! 
                            I just shake my head

I do not stand 
      because I will not
              worship a flag 
                      or country

I do not stand
     because I see...
           hate running rampant in the streets
                 love greeted with anger

I do not stand 
      at this present moment because...
the U S of A has offered
       me little to be proud of

Instead I sit quietly
            as I have done...for years
            thinking and praying, instead of singing mindlessly
                 thinking and praying for 
                       lives lost in war
                        a families tears and pain to eased
                        for a country who talks
                              about respecting our veterans
                                     but treats them like worn out trash. 

I pray instead of mindlessly 
       worshiping the flag or country
As is my God given right. 

So do me
       and others like me a favor
   quit trying to force 
          us to respect a country
      that has done nothing to earn our respect.

We have respect for the sacrifice people made
       what was fought for

but in my eyes
       and others
there sacrifice was spit upon
       with the ignorance and hatefulness of this country 

For that 
      we sit.

Assumptions

You assumed the worst
You thought you knew all about me
from just one message
I listened and took time
to understand your view
but you refused to hear my side
like a coward
you ran from what I might say
if you stuck around
you would have learned
I wasn't angry
I just wanted to point out
the assumptions you made about me
you said I was greedy and selfish
you said I was a coach for the money
if you had bothered to get to know me
you would have seen
I am in this to help others
to make a difference in someone's life
I don't give a damn about money
sure it's a bonus
but I wouldn't do this
if I didn't think I wasn't making a difference
it isn't about shaming other women like you implied
but to build them up
and help them learn how to look in the mirror
and to say "I am beautiful"
with confidence.
You accused me of rudely just adding people to groups
If you had stuck around
you would have discovered
that message was simply me asking
I didn't add you to any groups
in fact I do run ads
and have a business page
even though you accused me having neither
and simply being out for your money
I gleamed a lot about you from that one response
While I am not angry
and wish I could help you
I have learned you are someone that I never want on my team
You have so much anger
I am not sure you have the skill set
to build people up
and help them love themselves.
You seem only to have the skill set
of tearing people down
and I am sorry to say
but I don't want any part
of someone who seems to get a thrill
from keeping people miserable
and making someone feel bad
for doing something that isn't your thing
In the future
a simple no is sufficient.

Goodbye Dear, Friend.

I saw you as beautiful
I saw you as strong
I reached out to you because
you seemed like a person
that could inspire thousands
I reached out because
I wanted the best for you
I reached out because I care
I reached out one last time
because I wanted to be sure
I was so surprised by your answer
filled with anger
filled with hate
filled with judgement
That didn't bother me
what got to me
was your assumption
that I didn't know about hard times
your assumption
that I have had it easy
your assumption
that you are the only who has it had rough
no offense
but you weren't there
when I cried my tears in secret
trying to find a reason
to keep breathing
you weren't there
when my body wouldn't stop shaking
you weren't there
when the doctors told me
my baby was coming to early
and I might not get to hold him right away
you weren't there
when my hubby was diagnosed
with cancer
and my heart dropped
you didn't see my pain
you didn't see me fight
you didn't see God hold me upright
I thought you were
the kind of person
who would understand
I thought you were
an encourager
someone who had deep empathy, like me
had suffered through hardships
and was ready to move past them
but I was wrong
you are still wallowing
you are still suffering
you are still making your way through the pain
so I give the gift of my absence
it seems I can't help
so I will pray
and hope God holds you tight
know that I am not angry
I have forgiven your anger
I wish the best for you
and wish you well
goodbye dear, friend.

Ignorant Hate- By Susan Thomas

I stand, taking a good look around.
Seeing bigotry and hate
run a muck.
They talk like illegal immigrants are a disease.
One to eradicate with haste
Never mind that they are human,
running scared from tyrants,
working jobs no one wants.
They talk like homosexuals are a contagious plaque.
Gay marriage now law
they shout in protest.
This law infringes on belief
they claim with hypocritical mouths,
as they force their belief on others.
Deciding to pick and choose
what to believe from God's Holy Book.
Anyone with skin color
or who is different is in danger.
Different has become dangerous
as the bigots claim power.
God's message of love and acceptance
a mere inconvenience.
One they ignore and block out.
They now seek to put a bigot in charge.
This Trump a true chump
with tyrannical ideas.
Has the nerve to ignore the facts
and rewrite the constitution to suit his desires.
Looking up to Hitler and Stalin for ideas
to rid himself and the US
of the unique and struggling.
Compassion, love, and empathy
become the enemy.
Those who shout in name of love and equality
are labeled ignorant and stupid.
If the path of hate
continues  what hope is left
for the country
for humanity
for all of us?

American Pride-By Susan Thomas

Americans shout,

"We are number one!"
Americans beam with pride
when they brag,
"We're a melting pot!"
 Americans spread the word,
"America a place where dreams come true!"
It should come as no surprise
that foreigners hear the commotion
and believe what we say.
Living in a hole
where hope is all but died.
When the American's words
breathe new life into that hope.
They dare to dream.
Make plans to change their fortune.
Hostile governments and horrible circumstances
leave no time for paperwork.
Afraid of severe punishment
they flee in the night.
Run to the land of dreams.
Hopes high.
Hope deflates
as they realize
their dreams out of reach
because no paperwork was filed.
Can't have a decent job
they could be deported.
The settle for low wages.
Jobs that pay under the table.
Jobs that no one wants.
Hatred is thrown at them
like sharp poisonous daggers.
They say they stole jobs.
Take from the government.
If only they could.
One federal aid application
would mean quick deportation.
Barely money to survive.
Praying they don't get ill
because they can't afford the expense.
Still they stay
with a smile.
Doing work no one wants
for next to nothing
while being blamed
for the countries problems.
They do all this
with a pleasant smile
because maybe their children
born in the USA
will have a chance.
Years pass.
A small mistake made.
They find themselves being deported.
As they scream
in tears for their children.
Their children who cannot follow
because they are US citizens.
An American crowd cheers at their tears.
Smile as a child
is forever hauled way from Mom and Dad
to a broken foster care system.
Isn't America grand?
The land where people
have pride in their hate.

A Very Unhappy BIrthday-By Susan Thomas

December is on the horizon.
A chill in the air.
Christmas Carols, Decorations, and Good Cheer
are on everyone's lips.
In the distance,
we all begin to sense...the coming of a new year.
All begin to think,
of the wondrous party,
an excuse to stay up late,
to kiss a handsome stranger.
Everyone's hearts are merry,
except my own.
As the last day of the year
     draws near,
I wish the holiday to hasten.
I wish December to disappear,
without a trace.
Leaving my birthday,
unmarked,
uncelebrated.
Leaving me alone,
and not robbing me of joy.
My birthday,
that is the buzzkill of any party.
As a child,
it may have been grand,
but as years passed,
and wisdom grew
it was plain to see...that my birthday,
was naught but an incovienence.
The huge party's that night,
were never for me.
The cake
presents
birthday wishes
all just an after thought.
Something to get out of the way,
so the merry party...could continue.
Always,
having to wait,
to celebrate what should be a happy day.
My birthday,
such an inconvience,
that it simply,
can't be celebrated on its own.
So I say
let the day go unmarked.
Let it pass,
with no birthday wishes.
Forget about me
go to your parties.
Perhaps if for once,
all just forgot,
then maybe just once
on my birthday,
I could be happy.
Not have my joy stolen,
as the reminder
that I'm second rate,
to the coming new year
is joyfully shoved in my face
over
and
over.
Leave me be.
No birthday wishes please.
Let me keep my joy
as you celebrate the new year.
All I wish for,
if you truly care,
is a quiet evening home.
Where the only hints of birthday,
come from a joyful son
and loving husband.
Who stay in,
and let me feel special,
when often I am made to feel
like an afterthought.
Leave the well wishes
to my husband, son, and unborn daughter.
If you must wish me happiness,
then wish me a happy new year.
But please for the sake of my happiness,
forget my birthday.

Beautiful-By Susan Thomas

My hair
is beautiful because
it is full and thick
My eyes
are beautiful because
they are the only part of me
that hints at my Asian descent
My nose
is beautiful because
it fits my face just right
My cheeks
are beautiful because
they are round
and perfect for my husband to kiss
My lips
are beautiful because
they are full
My neck
is beautiful because
it is long and elegant
My chest
is beautiful because
it reminds me
of the son and soon to be daughter
that rely on me.
My arms
are beautiful because
I use them
to show my love to family and friends
My stomach
is beautiful because
that is where my son grew
and where my daughter grows now
My legs
are beautiful because
they allow me
to play with my son
and take him on walks
My feet
are beautiful because
they carry me everywhere
I am beautiful because
I am loved
and my family calls
me beautiful.