Dear Ms. Judgmental- By Susan Thomas

To the white haired,
sickly skinny,
uptight woman at the mall yesterday.
You know who you are,
you breezed by on your high horse,
looking down on my family.
You sneered in disgust
at the sight of two parents
pushing the handicap button
instead of opening it with our hand.
You muttered words of outrage
as you briskly walked by.
Words of judgement.
Trying to shame us
for our repulsive act.
How could two young people
be so lazy? You must have thought.

Well Miss perhaps you didn't notice,
but my husband was using a cane that day.
You see he gets tired more easily these days.
It's not his fault.
Mam while you passed judgement I was just happy
to spend a day out with my family.
My husband has cancer.
He started chemo this week.
That doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter that while he had the energy
we decided to have some over due fun.
Or that at some point he started to feel tired
and even a little sick.
Just to have him there was a blessing.
But don't worry.
Remember you are so much better than us.
Why should that make a difference?

Judgement was diffnetely passed,
not only on my husband,
but on me to.
I'll extend some benefit of the doubt
and assume you didn't pass judgement
on my eleven month old son.
Perhaps you didn't notice,
but I'm pregnant you see.
With number two on the way
I easily feel sick and tired.
I was having a bad spell at that moment.
I was feeling beyond tired.
So tired I wondered how I could even walk to the car.
It was one thing to be on my own two feet,
but I was also pushing my son in his stroller
as he fussed and cried because he was sleepy.
Each step was a chore.
Not to mention that the idea
of juggling a door handle
and getting hold of stroller in time
wasn't a marathon I was up for running.
So I pushed that button.
Hoping that this small act
would give me the energy to walk to the car.
But don't worry.
Don't feel bad.
You're better than me remember?

As you sit a top your high horse.
I must give a warning.
That one day you will find yourself without your horse.
Most likely something will have firmly knocked you down.
Then you will find yourself being judged when it seems unfair.
I pray you be careful who you judge.
Who you act better than.
For if  you treat friends the same way you treated us
you'll find yourself without a helping hand.

You Can't- By Susan Thomas

You can't...
dive into the waters,
oh so blue,
and ride the waves...
in sheer ectasy.
That water is too dark.

You can't...
climb in that car,
and listen to the engine roar,
as your body anticipates,
that ride ahead.
It could strike anytime.

You can't...
boil that water,
for a cup of cocoa.
Even though it's richness and warmth,
could soothe your throat.
It just not safe.

You can't...
see that movie,
you yearn to see.
The light might bother you.

You can't...
get married.
You may be pretty.
You may be a delight,
but no one wants a broken girl.

You can't...
have children.
the want and need doesn't matter.
You could pass on your disease.
Those seizure lurking in the shadows,
could take you anythime.
A girl like you just can't.

Unconditional Love-by Susan Thomas

All alone
in a crowded room
laughter echoes
teases and taunts
haunts my every thought
no love for the diffrent
no love for those
that crave the norm
when times were darkest
his love wasn't felt
numb to his tight embrace
never knew he wiped my tears
It was so dark
that it consumed me
I thought he'd gone
abandoned me like so many others
when the dawn came
washing away the dark
to my delight
He was there
holding me
and humming a soothing song
I now felt his love overwhelm
I wept with joy
as I realized
I was never alone
I just was so consumed
that I couldn't see

300 pounds-By Susan Thomas

I can see it now.
How the cookie that's oh so sweet.
Makes a woman,
Morph into a 300 pound whale.
Fat ripples with every step,
Like the morning tide,
In the wee hours of the mourn.
At the moment...
I resemble a chubby cat.
But i'm only
One pizza slice away,
One piece of cake away,
One donut or cookie away
From becoming...
That 300 pound whale.

Proud to be an American?-By Susan Thomas

America the land of dreams...
where the streets are paved with gold.
The people chant...
We Are Number One!
When they see my silence
questions are sure to follow.
They react with horror and revulison,,,
when I say...
America isn't the best.
That this country...
brings me nothing but shame.

How can I join them?
When America's leaders rig election lines.
To make sure who serves their interests wins a seat.
I cannot cheer for a county,
that steals from the poor...
and takes their spirit
to line the pockets of the rich.
I can't be proud of a country,
that's full of fake smiles and hospitality.
While at the same time shunning immigrants
with hopes and dreams.
How disheartening it must be to learn,
that the streets are paved with broken dreams.

Someone shouts...
America is best!
And a tinge of fury burns deep.
We can't be the best.
Americans care more about beating the other side to a bloody pulp,
than calmly talking and finding the best solution.
A country that once claimed to love God.
But now uses his word as a weapon against those that are different.
A country that cares more for test scores,
than they do a child.
A country where those that need help,
are treated like trash and unworthy.
While those who see them feel dirty,
and work hard to scrub themselves clean.

Some may say America is best.
But all I see,
is a country full of hate,
full of selfishness,
a people that forgot what our fore fathers faught for.
Worst of all,
a country that sees love,
as a mere disposable trinket.
A people that cares more about appearnces and self interest.
Nothing really to brag about.

You Say You Love-By Susan Thomas

You say you love everybody,
but don't approve the behavior.
You sneer in disgust,
when a man expresses his love...
for another man
or a woman shares a pasionate kiss
with a another woman.

You claim to love those like them.
Just not that part of them.
I have trouble comprehending...
your idea of love.
That love is somehow conditional.
That if someone believes or feels
in a manner you don't like...
your somehow allowed to hate...
just that one part.

How is that love?
Isn't love UNCONDITIONAL?
Accepting AND embracing...
the WHOLE person.

You try to use the bible.
My lord and savior,
as your excuse for hate.
But the Jesus I know...
LOVED the PROSTITUTE,
the DESTITUTE and SINNERS.
Aren't you just a pharasee?
Caught up in RULES and REGULATIONS,
and FORGETTING the meaning of love.

Invisible Beast-by Susan Thomas

There was a day,
that I was free to dream,
free to dance,
free to be.
I was a joyful,
young spirit.
Naive.
Then one day,
my freedom came to an end.
The monster
I could not see,
or touch,
had me in it's grasp.
I tried to run,
but it was faster.
I tried to ignore it,
but it's grasp just grew tighter.
I tried so hard to get away,
to find my freedom,
but it had me runnin' in place.
It stole my eyes
so I couldn't see.
Everytime I thought I finally beat it,
it would pounce
and pin me harder than before.
The cage it built
was strong
and seemed unbeatable.
Things seemed hopeless.
Then one day
I was whisked away
to a place.
They made promises.
I thought their words were hollow.
This was my doom.
My fate.
To my astonishment,
in a few short days,
I was free.
I was no longer in a cage.
No longer bound
or held down
by the invisible beast.
Instead they took the beast
and locked him way.
Now our rolls are reversed.
I have the power
and that thing will never taste freedom.
It waits for me to be sloppy
to mess up.
A moment of weakness,
but that will never happen.
I enjoy my freedom
and intend to keep it.