It all began on an ordinary work day. I got up at six in the morning and got my five year old daughter ready for school. She was excited to be attending her first day of kindergarten. She was wearing a cute pink dress with her favorite pink sneakers that she wore everywhere. Even to bed. Her blond curly hair was pulled back with a light pink ribbon.
I had my usual cup of coffee and toast while my wife served our daughter a bowl of cheerios and she made herself some instant oatmeal. She had long day ahead of her. She was loosing her case in court and was more stressed than usual.
When I finished my breakfast I told my sweet daughter to get her back pack and lunch and we headed out the door. My wife called after me.
"Dear are you sure you want to take her? I can drop her off."
"It's fine honey. You have enough on your plate. I can take care of it."
"Well okay, but remember to keep your temper in the car with our daughter there. I don't want her picking up any foul language from you."
"Not a problem. I'm always more relaxed in the morning."
With that I led my daughter to the mini van. I strapped her in her booster seat and got in the car myself. The drive started out peaceful enough. Drivers seemed to be on their best behavior this morning. I took it as a good sign.
Then I turned onto a very busy street that would eventually take me to my daughter's school. One bad driver after another seemed to pop up. First I was stuck behind a driver who decided it was a good idea to drive 20 miles under the speed limit. Then I finally shake that guy to be cut off by another driver who thinks if you aren't driving 80 that you are to slow. I had to slam on my breaks to avoid an accident.
At this point I was trying really hard not to swear in front of my daughter. So all that came out of my mouth was various grunts and random syllables that made no sense. My daughter sensing my frustration asked me if I was okay. I shouted fine a little more sternly than I should have and my daughters eyes began to well up with tears.
Then I lost control as some driver was about to force their way into my lane. I had no where to go. So screaming a whole slew of absenities at the driver who couldn't hear me I pushed the gas pedal to the ground. Speeding up. The vehicle was half in the lane and still moving. I hit the car but the rebound from the hit was awful. My car lost control and the mini van began to roll. The airbags all went off and I could hear screeches from other cars. My daughter's crying was practically a scream now, but then suddenly it stopped before the car stopped.
When the car stopped rolling I tried to move to check on my daughter. But I found moving sent such excruciating body through me that I passed out from the pain.
I woke up the next day at the hospital. My wife was in a chair in the corner. Her eyes were swollen and red and she had passed out from exhaustion. I looked around and a nurse came in.
"Oh my you are awake. Let me get the doctor," she said rushing out of the room.
My wife began to stir and opened her eyes. She saw me awake and quickly turned away. After moment she got up and walked up to me.
"Jacob, are you alright?" she asked softly.
"In some pain,but okay I guess.," I said wondering where my daughter was.
"It makes me so angry you get out with only a few scratches. I told you I would've taken her!"
"Honey, where is our daughter."
"YOU! YOU AND YOUR DAMN TEMPER KILLED HER. SHE DIED ON IMPACT. YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU KILLED MY CHILD! ROT IN HELL," she screamed.
At this point the doctor and a couple nurses came in. They saw the commotion and had my wife escorted from the room. I listened as they told that I it was a miracle I got out of the crash with only a sprained wrist and a fractured rib. They couldn't explain it. They told me that my daughter was indeed dead and the other driver had a few cuts from broken glass. Then they went on to tell me that I was being charged with vehicular homicide and was found responsible for the crash.
My head began to spin as I realized that I was about to be charged with my own daughter's death. The rest of the events seem to all blur. I was found guilty and sentenced to a few years in jail. While in prison my wife filed for divorce. She never forgave me and continues to blame me for our child's death. She also had our second child while I was in prison. Apparently she had found out she was pregnant the day of the accident and had to planned to surprise me, but now she made sure that I would never have the chance to meet our child. I lost my job and reputation amongst friends. No one wanted to be friends with a someone responsible for their own child's death.
My parents visited but we didn't talk like we used to. The visits felt like my parents were only coming to fulfill some duty they felt they had. I could tell they were also angry at me and I couldn't blame them. I spend day after day in my cell. Wondering what would have happened if I had told my wife to go ahead and take our daughter. Would we still be together? Would the accident have happened? Would my daughter be alive?
I've chosen to live to try and save people from making the same horrible decision I made. Try and tell people road rage isn't harmless. I may be physically alive, but Jacob died in that car crash and a shell emerged. I honestly don't know how to move on and don't think I ever will. I dread the day I leave this prison and am forced to deal with all the people I've angered out there. Worst is knowing that there is another child of mine I could redeem myself through, but not being able to be near me kills me all over again. I just pray that with time that some part of my old self somehow revives.
