Elusive Silence-by Susan Thomas

thunderous footsteps
trampling down the hallway
looking for an exit
frantically searching
for the glowing exit door
dangerous footsteps
soon follow
frantic cries
now echo thought the chamber walls
the shrill voice
sends shivers up my spine
longing for the noise to stop
desperately seeking silence
shrill cries that echo
fall on deaf ears
dangerous foot steps
soon conquer the frantic
a loud bang echoes
the chamber walls
followed by a thumping
silence falls on the chamber walls
a smile creeps across my face
oh sweet silence
how I missed thee
but what's this
now guilty thoughts
invade my silence
will there ever
be peace
once more

Shutup-By Susan Thomas

Strolled in confident
came in with understanding
now your confusing words
throw me in a tizzy
your words
wipe away my confidence
your words
destroy my understanding
trying desperately
to tune out your words
desperatly clinging to my understanding
clutching my confidence
when your words seep though
confidence and understanding
run like sand though my fingers
I pray you shut up
I hope you give up
your words do no good
they insure failure
for the love of god
shut up

A Fight-by Susan Thomas

Dark, wicked thing
lurking around the corner
watching my sleeping babe
stalking him
making him cry
giving him chills
of fear

you play with fire
you see my son as weak
you think my faith
a joke
but if you knew
how true
and strong my faith stands
you would run in fear

you should realize
the father is on our side
he is our protection
he is our foundation
he is our guiding light
you can not break him
so you can not break me

I let you have the place you dwell
not because of a weak faith
not because I'm scared
but because I do not own
the place you dwell
if we owned the creepy place
 we would give you a fight so fierce
god's presence would be so strong
that it would be you fleeing
it would be you screaming
not my sleeping babe

Invading Darkness- by Susan Thomas

Darkness lurking in the hallway
Threatening to enshrined the rest
Our only defense
a fragile candle flame
Clinging to the faint light
Hoping the light will prevail
Praying that the darkness
Doesn't make the light go out
If the light fades
All hope is lost
Terror will reign
Sin will prevail
Love will be lost
Facing the darkness
It can be easy to forget
That the light is strong
That the light is contagious
And light has the power
To smite the darkness

I Know You Know-By Susan Thomas

Tender care is given,
to the one from my womb.
Nursing to health
when he's sick.
Keeping him warm,
making sure his tummy is full.
Keeping him clean.
Showering him with love.
Doing what's best,
for my dear little one.
Still others say,
or tell me,
what to do.
Telling me what they call advice,
full of judgement.
Disapproving of my love,
for my son.
Disapproving of how I care,
they see me as unfit.
An hour with my little one,
somehow gives them more expertise than I.
What would I know?
I'm only mom.
I only know all his quirks.
What he loves, likes, and hates.
I know all his cries,
and what they mean.
I know what makes him laugh.
What makes him smile.
What makes him cry,
but I forget that ten minutes with him,
somehow makes you the expert,
and me the unfit parent.
By all means give your advice,
let me know what a awful job I'm doing.

Will I see you once more?-By Susan Thomas

Knew you in your elder years.
Your hair was grey,
your skin wrinkled.
You had already lived an inspirational love story.
Gone to war,
had a family.
You told me much,
but never told me...
about belief in a higher power.
Did you love a heavenly father?
Did you pray,
or read your bible?
Will I see you once more,
once my time has come.
Are you with your wife,
in heaven above?
Can you drink a beer with Jesus?
Or am I never to see your dear face again?
Was your still and sleeping face,
in your casket...
the last I will see of you?

Unseen Father-By Susan Thomas

I have never seen your tender face

Never felt your skin against mine

Never heard your voice

Never looked into your eyes

Never looked upon you with my eye

Though you can’t be seen

Felt

Or heard

I sense your love

I sense your protection

I sense your forgiveness

I look back

And see how often

You walked me through dark times

You gently led me

Down my destined path

Gave me your love

Blessed me with wonderful people

With a beautiful life

I can’t see you

But embrace you

Keep a place for you in my heart

I can’t see you

But see your precious work

Every day when I see

My sleeping son

I see your work

When I admire a tree

Or a flower

I may not see you

But you see me

Embraced by Death-By Susan Thomas

Death's embrace
often a terrifying thought
as I lay there
waiting for death to take me
fearful thoughts run through my mind
death approaches
it's touch is surprisingly warm
gentle
kind
a pleasurable greeting
was not expected
more terrfiying
because life
had been cut so short
instead comfort was offered
he wiped my tears
reasured me
and lead me down a path
that led to
tremendous love
forgiveness
and hope
twas such a surprise
to find that death
was not fearful at all
but instead
like greeting an old friend

Untitiled-By Susan Thomas

Inside I was dead
Inside my soul had become to weak
passion had been stolen
cruel words had broken me
faith in man
faith in god
was thought forever lost
trials came
forced me to my knees
forced me to admit
my weakness
my faith in God
was found once more
but faith in man
was still lost
time went by
things got easier
met a man
who made me whole
made me love
restored my faith in man
brought me happiness
made me feel
wanted

Go away!-By Susan Thomas

Snow Snow go away
Come again some other day
the chill you bring
is such a bummer
when we are so ready for summer
you are not welcome
no you are not
I would rather play with snot
snow snow
go away
far away
and on your way
do get lost
so that way you
just may stay away
if you don't
that's okay
I'll just hope
that spring comes
and gives your
butt a nice firm kick

Love-By Susan Thomas

     She didn't know I could see her. As an IT repairman I frequently went on housecalls to repair computers. I fixed her computer six months, two weeks, four days, and five hours ago. The moment I saw her I knew she was the one for me. She had long flowing cherry red hair, green eyes, and milky white skin. She was tall and slender, but shorter than me by about an inch, which was important to me. When she let me in and showed me to her computer I followed her in a daze. Her beauty had my head spinning. She was perfect. All I could think of was making her mine.
    "This is it. All I get is this weird blue screen. I hope you don't have to take it in. My life is on that computer. I need it fixed asap."
    Her voice was beautiful. It was soft and gave the impression that she had a big heart. A heart that perhaps had room for me. I looked at her big cherry red lips and fought a strong urge to kiss them.
    "I'll do my best, mam."
    I quickly got to work on her computer. I knew what was wrong. Her computer had caught a virus. It was nasty but fixable. All I had to do was wipe the hard drive and reboot the computer. I sat quietly working on her computer. I looked at the pictures on her desk. It looked like she was single. I began to imagine a life together with her. We would have two kids. A boy and girl. They would look like her, but have my sense of humor. My imagination made the work fly by. Before I knew it about an hour had passed and I was rebooting the computer. Once the computer was rebooted I made sure the problem was fixed and planted a small bug in her computer. One that would let me turn on the camera at anytime and monitor any activity on her computer.
    "Mam! Computer is fixed!" I shouted.
     She sprinted in. She saw her computer running and a beautiful smile slowly lit up her face.
     "Oh you saved my life. My thesis is on that computer."
     "I had to wipe the hard drive. Your computer is back to day one. I hope you backed up your work."
     "Of course. Computers are to unreliable not to have a backup."
    I nodded my head and handed her the bill and then left her house.


    After that day I kept tabs on her. She did most of her work at home. She was a part time student that attended evening classes on Tuesday and Thursday. She would leave the house at around five and come home about ten. She made her money writing ariticles online. She was pretty decent at it. She was studying creative writing. She had a facebook page and a twitter page. I was now a friend and following her twitter page. She had an email that I frequently hacked into.
         She kept receiving messages from a Darren. They were romantic in nature. I didn't like her talking to this twerp. She was my girl. No one elses's. We would marry and live happily ever after. I had been planning the perfect way to run into her so we could officially start dating.  This Darren didn't know her like I did. I knew her whole routine everyday. I knew what she liked and didn't like. I knew her hopes and her dreams. I knew she believed in an afterlife. I knew her faviorate color and had seen that cute mole on her right butt cheek from looking in on her with the camera. She was mine.


   It's been another two months. I have finally spoken to her, but she won't give me the time of day. She has fallen under the spell of this Darren guy. I don't understand what she sees in him. I recieved the worst news yesterday. They are engaged. She bragged about it on her twitter and facebook pages. How can she betray me? Doesn't she know that I am her soulmate! I have decided that if I can't have her no one will.
    I am currently hiding in her bedroom closet. My brand new handgun at my side. She was currently in bed reading a book. I would wait till she was asleep and shoot. It didn't take long. Soon she turned off the light and went to sleep.
     I slowly make my way out of the closest. I walk to her bedside and point the gun at her head. Suddenly I hear someone cock a gun and then a man shouted: "Freeze asshole! Put down the gun!"
   I just smiled. This guy didn't have the guts. He wasn't a real police officer. Just some body guard to make her feel better. Like he actually cared. I cocked the gun and put my finger on the trigger.
     Just then I heard a loud bang echo in the bedroom. A sharp pain shot through my abdomen. I looked down and saw a gunshot in my gut. I was bleeding badly and I was getting light headed. The love of my life sat up with a horrified look in her eyes. I tried to step forward to tell her to smile, but I collapsed and everything went black. 
   

A B C

A is for alligator
B is for banana
C is for cat
D is for dog
E is for euclapytis
F is for fork
G is for gavel
H is for hat
I is for ice
J is for jail
K is for kite
L is for lance
M is for moon
N is for net
O is for ocean
P is for platypus
Q is for queen
R is for red
S is for sassy
T is for titanic
U is for unelected
V is for violin
W is for witch
X is for xylophone
Y is for year
Z is for zoo

Untitled-By Susan Thomas

Dear Writer's Block-
You suck. I hate you. I find you annoying. I wish I could elminate your existence. You are in my way. I can't write a thing with you here. So I am telling you to get lost. I could be nice and tell you it's not you it's me, but we both know that is crap. When you are present my imagaination comes to a halt. It sucks. Please leave and never return.
Characters of stories I'm still working on just disappear when you are around. The world becomes a dull lifeless grey. Everything about it boring and just fact. I would appreciate it if you would kindly release your hostage. I've grown quite fond of my imagination and don't appreciate you locking it up tight.
I want the ability to see things in a different way back. I want music to inspire me again. A book to send my mind racing with ideas. You are nothing but a nucissance and I am kindly ordering you to leave.

Yours Truly,
Susan Thomas

Forgive-By Susan Thomas

Forgiveness
such a troubling little thing
people may say it's easy
it may even look easy
is it easy to forgive
someone who robbed you
of self esteem
of self worth
of a will to live
of happiness
how to forgive
a person who took
your life
flipped it upside down
and spat on it
the good book
tells us forgiveness is a must
we have been forgiven
so me must forgive in return
but how do I forgive
a person who made
life hell
I pray about it
and truly hope
one day
I will forgive them
with my whole heart
Although I will never forget
I am who I am
because of that hell
so while I may forgive
it doesn't mean I forget

My Other Half-By Susan Thomas

    My dear old Aunt Clara always used to tell me to stay out of the locked room in the attic. That nothing but trouble could come from that room. I can hardly be blamed for not listening to her rule. I did resist for many years. I didn't even think of going up there until she passed and I found the key. That child like curiosity was reignited when I found the old rustic antique looking key. There were stories of what was up there, but they were all our imaginings. I wanted to be the first one to find out. I was in no way prepared for what I discovered.
    I made my way slowly up the stairs from the first floor. My Aunt Clara lived in an old victorian era house that had been in the family for generations. The house would now pass to either me or my sister. My parents had no interest in an old house, they prefered that cold, uncomfortable modern decor. You know what I speak of. That stale white look with furniture that looks so uncomfortable you wonder why anyone would possibly want to own such a thing. A place you are afraid to touch for fear of making something dirty or hurting yourself. That was my parents style and I hated their modern day condo. I was hoping my sister would pass on the house and I would get it.
    As I reached the top of the stairs the floor boards beneath my feet let out a long and loud creak. Surely everyone knew where I was now. I then walked to the end of the hall and pulled down the ceiling door to the attic. I pulled down the ladder and headed up. Despite the entrance my Aunt had fixed up the attic like just another room. She said she liked to go in the attic for her "me" time.  Even when she came down with the leukemia that eventually took her life she still insisted on going up to the attic. Who knows how she managed to get up there with the little strength she had. One would think it wasn't possible.
    I flipped on the light switch. I had been expecting it to look dark and smell musty like all attics, but it was refreshing to discover that it was nicely decorated like the rest of the house. She had cleverly installed light to make it look like natural light coming in. I then saw it. The old door that had always been forbidden. It stuck out like a sore thumb. It was the only thing that maintained the old attic like look.  I sprinted toward it like a tiny child. I hastily shoved the key in and turned it until I heard a click. I then grabbed the old glass door knob and turned it. I gently pushed the door open and could hardly believe what I saw.

    I saw myself standing in the only part of the attic that actually looked like the attic. It was barren and had no furniture expect for a few boxes and a small lamp on the floor that was turned on. Although it looked like me it also didn't look like me. It was hard to put my finger on, but the difference was more of a feeling. It seemed darker and cold hearted. The dead look in her eye sent shivers up my spine. Although it looked like me I couldn't believe it really was.
    "Hello Sophia. You seem well, " she said in an erie voice.
    "Um...hi...who are you," I asked nervously wringing my hands.
    "Oh you know me Sophia. Perhaps not well, but I know you very well."
    "I certainly don't know you. I think I would remember a previous encounter."
    "Oh yes this is the first face to face meeting so to speak, but you know me. I'm that part of you that you like to pretend doesn't exist."
    "I don't know what you are talking about."
    "You know that voice that whispers to you and what it says disturbs you so that you try hard to ignore it. That small voice that thought that Ted Bundy wasn't that bad. The voice that told you murder is just another choice not something morally wrong."
    "I don't know what you are talking about."
    "I'm the one that whispered to you that lies are okay. Even the big ones. That a lie can't hurt anyone."
    I stared at her feeling very uncomfortable. I didn't like were this was going.  I began to slowly back out of the room only to hear the door slam shut.
    "Oh no my dear. No one leaves the room of reflection without admitting their guilt. You are not going any where. You must admit your guilt and embrace who you are."
    "What?"
    "You need to admit what you have done. Go ahead tell me what you did to your dear old Aunt. I already know. You just have to say it out loud. You can blame me if you want. After all I gave you the idea."
    "I don't have to do this. I'm leaving!" I quickly turned around and tried desperatly to try and open the door.
    "You can't lie to me. I am you. I am that part of you that you pretend isn't there. Everyone has one. You my dear are more influenced by me than most people are by theirs. Many people know I'm there and tell me no, but you on the other hand. It's so easy to get you to see things my way. Like what you did to your precious Aunt. I should mention she wasn't a saint."
     "Fine. I killed her! I admit it, but it wasn't all that bad. She was dying anyway. She was in pain. She even asked me to. She didn't want to deal with the pain!"
     "So killing a person is okay if they ask to die. Where is that written? You know that she could have been talked out of it. All you had to tell her was that her pain medication had been replaced by sugar pills by none other than you."
    "No."
    "She couldn't die fast enough for you. You wanted this house, but you needed her to give you permission first. We both know she has beaten leukemia before. She had a chance, but you sabotaged it and pushed her and manipulated her until she begged to die. The truth is that you are a greedy cold blooded killer!"
    "NO!"
   "You can't lie to me! I told you to do it. You listened after some pushing. Now I ask you to do one more thing. You need to kill your sister. She wants this house to."
   "Okay maybe I'm guilty of what you say. I shouldn't have done it, but I will not kill my sister. She probably won't want this house. She has mom and dad's taste."
   "Learning to say no are we? Suddenly developing a back bone to me of all people?"
   "I would turn myself in, but I can't let someone else suffer. This room will torment whoever lives here. I desreve the torment. No one else does."
    Suddenly the door opened. I began to walk out the door while I still could. As I stepped out and closed the door I heard my other half scream one more thing.
    "Your just like your Aunt! I look forward to tormenting you my dear!"
    I ran out of the attic and out of the house. I found my sister sitting on the porch. She looked up at me.
    "I know you want this house sister. I have to admitt I am fond of it to, but only as a vacation home. Would you do me one favor?"
    "Sure." I barely manged to get out.
    "When you go on trips let me house sit. I would love it."
    "Sure. Just one rule."
    "Of course. What is it?"
   "Stay out of the locked door in the attic. I made the mistake of going in. Trust me stay out."
    "Of course. I never thought of going in. I figure Aunt Clara had her reasons."
    I stepped down and wondered into the yard and chose a spot in the sun and sat down. I would enjoy any peace I had before I moved in. Soon I would live in torment, just like Aunt Clara. 

Nothing to say-by Susan Thomas

Things to say when you are drawing a blank:
1. Elephants should be purple and have the power to make people disappear when they hunt them.
2. Do you think clowns are enemies or allies with lawn gnomes who's every thought is their next meal of human flesh.
3. Why do men have nipples?
4.Wouldn't it be fun if elevators traveled diagonally instead.
5.Would anyone like flamingos if they were just an ordinary brown?
6.What if when something exploded it wasn't destroyed but transformed into thousands of miniature versions of what you blew up. If that were true wouldn't that make July 4th more interesting?
7.Did God create us on purpose or was it an accident?
8.You aren't one of THOSE people are you? Don't specify what you mean.
9. Why don't they invent a special kind of underwear that makes your farts smell nice?
10.We should travel by bouncing bubble. If would be more fun and good for the environment. Plus accidents wouldn't hurt anyone.
11. What if aliens came here for peace? Would we even know since we tend to shoot first and ask later.
12. I don't think my car likes me. Any advice to change it's mind?
13. Who saw leaves growing out of the ground and thought yummy. I love roughage. By the same token who thought hey I'll kill my friend bambi and eat it.
14. Would you eat me if we were stranded for a long period of time without food?
15. Am I annoying? (repeat every 10 seconds for five minutes.)

Eh...Food-By Susan Thomas

Food is good
as most would say
they like it alot
some eat for joy
some for happiness
bliss can be a reason to
do I eat for joy
no no
I eat to survive
my stomach begins to grumble
I whine in response
food and eating is such a chore
it can be a real bore
in fact wrestling with a boar might be more fun
when that hunger overwhelms
I reluctantly give in
and eat food
but as long as I 'm eating
I may as well eat good food
so give me pizza
give me chocalate
give me
chinese food
give me italian food
but please forget the lima beans
forget the sweet potatoes
anything slimy in texture
anything that feels weird in the mouth
if I am to eat
the least it can be
is somewhat pleasureable

Untitled-by Susan Thomas

    Things had gotten a little out of hand. My partner in crime had completely lost it when it came time for the kill. We were supposed to shoot them and then make it look like a robbery. We had watched a bunch of those true crime shows on Discovery Channel to figure out what to do and what not to do. It wasn't supposed to turn into a blood bath. This would be impossible to cover up. Heck, this mess could end up on the news.
    "Shit, dude. You were only supposed to shoot them. I didn't want my parents to die this way. It's a bit harsh."
     My friend Barclay gave me a smirk and shrugged his shoulders.
    "You wanted them dead, but didn't have the guts to do it yourself. So here I am. I my as well get to enjoy it. Besides they always thought I was trash. They deserved this."
     Barclay bent down with his knife in hand he bent down and began to severe  my father's head. I watched in horror and felt my stomach begining to slosh around in a dangerous way. I knew I was going to puke. I didn't want to do that here. It would be evidence.
    "Do you have to decapitate them?"
    Barclay stood up with my father's head in his hand. He looked at me with a dark look in his eyes. He walked over to the window and flung it open.
    "This is what you wanted Lane. I am simply giving you what you wanted," he screamed as he flung my father's head out the window.
    In a panic I ran over to the window. I couldn't believe I made this plan with such a moron. We were on the tenth floor of an apartment building on one of the busiest streets in the city. I watched as the head fell and hit the pavement with a splat. I then soon heard screams follow and several pedestrians pull out their cell phone.
    "What are you crazy! We will never get out of here in time."
    He looked at me with a crazy grin and a glare that sent shivers up my spine.
    "I have to get caught if my plan is going to work. Lots of people to kill. Men in blue they piss me off."
    "What about me?"
    He just cracked an evil laugh and began to walk towards me with the knife. I began to panic and scream. Just as he lunged at me I heard a gun go off. I quickly checked myself and saw I wasn't shot. I looked up and saw Barclay fall over with a thump. A nice clean bullet hole in the back of his head. I then noticed the police officer standing at the opposite end of the room. I began to panic. I hadn't heard sirens or heard him break in. What was I going to do?
    "Are you alright miss? Is there anyone else in apartment? Are you hurt?"
    Wait he didn't suspect me? I had assumed he heard everything. Could I truly be this lucky. I might be able to lie my way out of this. After all he did all the dirty work and any prints of mine could be explained by my living here. I forcefully held back a smile.
    "Oh...officer it was awful. He made me watch as he slaughtered my family. Then he was about to kill me the same way when you saved me! Is there any hope for my mom?"
   " I just need you to come with me. Let me escort you to safety mam."
   "Yes, sir." I said conjuring up some tears and doing my best to act like I was in shock. On the inside I was smiling. They had their killer. I was going to get away with it. Now all I had left to do was track down my sister and kill her to. After all she's the one I hated the most. She left me alone with those abusive bastards. Heck the police might find her for me. Although next time it would have to look like an accident. They would get suspicious if it turned into another blood bath. Next time I would do the deed to make sure it all went right, but it was going to take a lot more research.

Benjamin-by Susan Thomas

So small and sweet
licking his feet
squealing with glee
quite the appetite
tugging tresses of hair
rolling about
chasing the spoon
chewing on a monkey
dancing to a blue monster
with a sweet tooth
snuggling with his blankey
giving wet kisses
and tiny hugs
curly hair
chubby cheeks
full of love
full of smiles
full of laughter
full of fussing
all this
in one little package
for mommy and daddy
to love
raise
and protect
our little one
so precious and sweet.