Goodbye Dear, Friend.

I saw you as beautiful
I saw you as strong
I reached out to you because
you seemed like a person
that could inspire thousands
I reached out because
I wanted the best for you
I reached out because I care
I reached out one last time
because I wanted to be sure
I was so surprised by your answer
filled with anger
filled with hate
filled with judgement
That didn't bother me
what got to me
was your assumption
that I didn't know about hard times
your assumption
that I have had it easy
your assumption
that you are the only who has it had rough
no offense
but you weren't there
when I cried my tears in secret
trying to find a reason
to keep breathing
you weren't there
when my body wouldn't stop shaking
you weren't there
when the doctors told me
my baby was coming to early
and I might not get to hold him right away
you weren't there
when my hubby was diagnosed
with cancer
and my heart dropped
you didn't see my pain
you didn't see me fight
you didn't see God hold me upright
I thought you were
the kind of person
who would understand
I thought you were
an encourager
someone who had deep empathy, like me
had suffered through hardships
and was ready to move past them
but I was wrong
you are still wallowing
you are still suffering
you are still making your way through the pain
so I give the gift of my absence
it seems I can't help
so I will pray
and hope God holds you tight
know that I am not angry
I have forgiven your anger
I wish the best for you
and wish you well
goodbye dear, friend.