For This Country I Sit

Crowds slowly file in
            one...by...one
looking for their seats

I sit in my seat 
       and watch all the wondrous diversity

People of all colors 
shapes
backgrounds
faiths coming together for some fun

Thousands come 
the noise of all their voices
          hums throughout the air

Then the national music begins to play
          people stand in mindless obedience
                     an army of voices sing void of any emotion
                             no apparent connection to the treasured lyrics of the anthem

I sit quietly in my seat, as I've done....
                 for years. 

No one once objected
      became offended
      asked why
       or paid any attention
They were too busy doing as they were told

Then an athlete
        chooses to do the same as I
                his reasons his own
        and the nation cries out:
               HOW HORRIBLE!
                    HOW DISRESPECTFUL! 
                            I just shake my head

I do not stand 
      because I will not
              worship a flag 
                      or country

I do not stand
     because I see...
           hate running rampant in the streets
                 love greeted with anger

I do not stand 
      at this present moment because...
the U S of A has offered
       me little to be proud of

Instead I sit quietly
            as I have done...for years
            thinking and praying, instead of singing mindlessly
                 thinking and praying for 
                       lives lost in war
                        a families tears and pain to eased
                        for a country who talks
                              about respecting our veterans
                                     but treats them like worn out trash. 

I pray instead of mindlessly 
       worshiping the flag or country
As is my God given right. 

So do me
       and others like me a favor
   quit trying to force 
          us to respect a country
      that has done nothing to earn our respect.

We have respect for the sacrifice people made
       what was fought for

but in my eyes
       and others
there sacrifice was spit upon
       with the ignorance and hatefulness of this country 

For that 
      we sit.

Assumptions

You assumed the worst
You thought you knew all about me
from just one message
I listened and took time
to understand your view
but you refused to hear my side
like a coward
you ran from what I might say
if you stuck around
you would have learned
I wasn't angry
I just wanted to point out
the assumptions you made about me
you said I was greedy and selfish
you said I was a coach for the money
if you had bothered to get to know me
you would have seen
I am in this to help others
to make a difference in someone's life
I don't give a damn about money
sure it's a bonus
but I wouldn't do this
if I didn't think I wasn't making a difference
it isn't about shaming other women like you implied
but to build them up
and help them learn how to look in the mirror
and to say "I am beautiful"
with confidence.
You accused me of rudely just adding people to groups
If you had stuck around
you would have discovered
that message was simply me asking
I didn't add you to any groups
in fact I do run ads
and have a business page
even though you accused me having neither
and simply being out for your money
I gleamed a lot about you from that one response
While I am not angry
and wish I could help you
I have learned you are someone that I never want on my team
You have so much anger
I am not sure you have the skill set
to build people up
and help them love themselves.
You seem only to have the skill set
of tearing people down
and I am sorry to say
but I don't want any part
of someone who seems to get a thrill
from keeping people miserable
and making someone feel bad
for doing something that isn't your thing
In the future
a simple no is sufficient.

Goodbye Dear, Friend.

I saw you as beautiful
I saw you as strong
I reached out to you because
you seemed like a person
that could inspire thousands
I reached out because
I wanted the best for you
I reached out because I care
I reached out one last time
because I wanted to be sure
I was so surprised by your answer
filled with anger
filled with hate
filled with judgement
That didn't bother me
what got to me
was your assumption
that I didn't know about hard times
your assumption
that I have had it easy
your assumption
that you are the only who has it had rough
no offense
but you weren't there
when I cried my tears in secret
trying to find a reason
to keep breathing
you weren't there
when my body wouldn't stop shaking
you weren't there
when the doctors told me
my baby was coming to early
and I might not get to hold him right away
you weren't there
when my hubby was diagnosed
with cancer
and my heart dropped
you didn't see my pain
you didn't see me fight
you didn't see God hold me upright
I thought you were
the kind of person
who would understand
I thought you were
an encourager
someone who had deep empathy, like me
had suffered through hardships
and was ready to move past them
but I was wrong
you are still wallowing
you are still suffering
you are still making your way through the pain
so I give the gift of my absence
it seems I can't help
so I will pray
and hope God holds you tight
know that I am not angry
I have forgiven your anger
I wish the best for you
and wish you well
goodbye dear, friend.